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Football player built. However, if she puts in more energy and dynamism in developing other facets of her identity, not only she become a more nurturing and less stifling parent, but she'll be a happier and better-adjusted person. And she need no longer feel compelled to lay down the law. The question is how do I get her to actually do that? I do feel bad for her her whole identity is tied up in being a wife and a mother and now she is neither of course she is still a mom but neither one of her sons lives with her.

I try to temper my irritation with the fact that I know that her life is so empty and lonely, and it must suck to be her. I try to think that my life is so full and rather than try to create more rift, I should be a bigger person and try to get alone. But it's not always that easy.

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